Self-Perception, self-love and beingness are profoundly significant concepts in the journey of personal development and our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. This blog post aims to examine these concepts and explore how self-love and beingness can transform the perception we have of ourselves, which in turn can lead us to experiencing a more fulfilling, balanced, and loving life.


Understanding Self-love and Beingness



Before we embark on transforming how we perceive ourselves, we need to understand the true importance of self-love and beingness and what we mean by self-perception.






Self-love is unconditional love. It is the appreciation and acceptance of ourselves just as we are, that grows from loving actions that support our physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual growth.

The more we love and respect ourselves, the more we are able to love and respect others, the environment, the earth. Self-love means taking responsibility for our lives and our personal growth. It is the gentle, kind and nurturing regard for our own well-being and happiness; caring for ourselves, respecting our needs, not holding ourselves back and sacrificing our well-being just to keep others happy. It’s about honouring our intrinsic worth and providing ourselves with the compassion, the acceptance, the forgiveness, and the understanding that we all deserve.





Beingness, on the other hand, refers to the quality of being who we are in the present moment. It’s about embracing our true self, without the layers of societal and family expectations or personal insecurities.

Being just is. Being is presence; being is consciousness; being is self-awareness.

Self-awareness means that whatever we are doing, or what-ever is happening around us, it is taking place in complete consciousness. It means that we are totally here; we are fully present. We are aware of our feelings and emotions and what is going on in our bodies; we are aware of our thoughts and what is going on in our heads; we are aware of our breathing and movements; we are aware of the energy circulating within us and around us.





The way we perceive ourselves, the way we sense ourselves, the way we see ourselves, determines how we interpret, understand, and interact with the world around us. Our physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and social characteristics all contribute to creating our self-perception. It’s the image we have in our minds of who we are, how we see and feel ourselves – our self-image, our body image. It’s the different beliefs we have about ourselves, how we view, evaluate, and judge our characteristics and personality – our self-esteem.

How we perceive ourselves is often very different from the way that others perceive us. Our self-perception is based on the awareness we have of ourselves and our sense of self. We can only perceive what we are aware of, and the awareness we have of ourselves influences how we see the world, people, situations, and events. It influences how we perceive our own body, our behaviour, abilities, work, achievements; it influences how we perceive others; it influences how we perceive spirituality, nature, the weather, food, politics, education, and everything else in between.


Understanding Self-Perception



Society, family, culture, politics, religion, education, and the media all deeply influence us and play key roles in shaping who we think, feel, and believe we are or how we ‘should’ be. All of this ‘information’ overtime creates our self-image, our beliefs, our characteristics, and our quirks.



Negative Self-Perception



Negative self-perception refers to the contorted view we have of ourselves, where we predominantly speak and judge ourselves in a very negative light. We tend to focus on our flaws and faults, on our weaknesses and mistakes. We misshape our failures and imperfections and, either downplay our strengths and accomplishments, or we completely ignore them. This can lead to lack of confidence, missed opportunities, and an overall sense of unhappiness and ‘what’s the use’!

Transforming this perception isn’t just about feeling better in the short term; it’s about cultivating a deeper, more sustainable, and loving relationship with ourselves. When we focus and dwell on all the negatives, or we see everything as all good or all bad, we distort our views of ourselves, others, and situations; we undervalue our achievements and positive experiences by believing that they don’t count anyway.



Typical Characteristics are:

    • Low Self-Esteem: Constantly feeling unworthy or inadequate.
    • Pessimism: A tendency to only expect negative outcomes.
    • Self-Doubt: Chronic uncertainty about our abilities and decisions that we need to take.
    • Distorted Self-Image: Perceiving ourselves in a way that is inconsistent with reality, often very negatively.




    • Mental Health Problems: Can lead to or intensify anxiety, stress, panic attacks, depression, and other mental health issues.
    • Hinder Performance: Perceiving ourselves negatively can diminish our motivation and effectiveness in the tasks that we need to carry out.
    • Relationship Problems: Can affect both our interpersonal relationships and social interactions.




Positive Self-Perception



Positive self-perception is when we view ourselves in a favourable, confident, and realistic light. When we look in the mirror, we see a happier, healthier, more balanced, and loving person. We recognise and acknowledge our strengths, our abilities, our potential and at the same time, without being overly critical of ourselves, we are also aware of the areas in our lives that we could improve. We feel comfortable and at ease making our own choices, voicing our own opinions and beliefs, and not feeling upset, if someone doesn’t agree with us.




    • Confidence: Belief in our abilities and the decisions we need to make.
    • Optimism: A tendency to look at the brighter side of situations.
    • Resilience: The ability to bounce back from setbacks and knocks.
    • Realistic Self-Assessment: Recognizing both our strengths and weaknesses.




    • Enhanced Mental Health: Linked to lower levels of anxiety, stress, and depression.
    • Better Stress Management: A positive outlook helps us to cope with stress and overwhelm more effectively.
    • Improved Motivation and Performance: Positive self-perception leads to much better engagement in tasks and achievements.




Steps to Transforming Your Self-Perception


You can only change and take control of what you are aware of, and the awareness you have of yourself always influences how you see the world, people, situations, and events.

The first step towards transforming your self-perception is becoming aware of how you currently see, feel and sense yourself.


1. Become Aware of Your Triggers:

What conditions, experiences or situations trigger or erode how you perceive yourself? What situations knock you down and make you feel bad? Common triggers can include:


  • A crisis at work or at home.
  • Relationship issues with a loved one, an ex, a friend, a colleague, a boss.
  • Stressful life events, such as being bullied or abused, losing your job, financial troubles, bereavement, on-going medical problems, your children leaving home.
  • Meetings at work, exams at school, academic and work pressure.


2. Challenge your negative thoughts:

We often confuse our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs with facts. Yes, long-held thoughts, feelings and beliefs can feel very factual even when they are really just negative perceptions or judgements. Recognizing and acknowledging the thoughts that affect your self-esteem allows you to begin changing the way you think about yourself.

Start paying attention to the thoughts, feelings and beliefs that trigger you – what are you telling yourself and how are you experiencing the situation? Are these thoughts and beliefs really true? Are they based on reason and facts? Or are they based on ideas and perceptions? Are they full of guilt creation words like ‘you should’, ‘you must’, you mustn’t and ‘you have to’? Are they just a product of past experiences and societal conditioning?

The goal is to learn to recognise your automatic thoughts and beliefs as they arise, take a step back from them and simply observe them. Instead of resisting or feeling overwhelmed by them, distance yourself from them. Allow yourself to question them, realize that they are just words not facts, and gradually remove the power they have over you. See them as little silver bells ringing to get your attention and encourage you to start creating new, healthier and more loving patterns in your life.


3. Celebrate YOU

Yes, CELEBRATE ALL of YOU! Celebrate your YOUniqueness. Embrace what makes you unique and know that you are so worthy of your love and care.


4. Acknowledge ALL the things you are good at

We all have our strengths; we all have our weaknesses; and we all have our challenges – it’s part of being human. Recognise your strengths and accept your weaknesses as part of your individuality. Acknowledge all the things you are good at. It could be cooking or singing; it could be organizing things or doing puzzles; it could be painting or being a good friend or a great mother. Start by making lists of things you are good at, things you love to do; things that make you feel good and things you would love to try.


5. Discover what Nurtures you

Discover the activities that nurture your mind, body, and soul, and prioritize and integrate them into your daily life. These could include activities like taking leisurely walks in nature, indulging in a hobby, reading, practicing yoga, cooking, and eating nourishing food, or simply enjoying a soothing bath with candles and essential oils. Try to do something from your lists every day.


6. Build positive relationships

Spend time with people who make you happy, people that uplift you, people that motive you. Don’t waste your precious time on people who don’t respect you or treat you well. Be kind to yourself, learn to be assertive and start saying “NO!” to them and a BIG ‘YES!’ to you.

7. Positive affirmations

Be kind and encouraging to yourself. Regularly use positive affirmations to build up your self-confidence and replace those negative or untrue thoughts with more positive and truthful ones.


8. Be compassionate

Stop being hard on yourself and start being kind and gentle to yourself. Know that everyone has flaws, and everyone makes mistakes. Yes, EVERYONE! NO one is perfect.


9. Mindfulness practices

Mindfulness practices can help you to stay grounded and in the present moment. They can help you observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment, reinforcing a healthier and more loving picture of how you see yourself.


10. Practice gratitude

Focus on what you appreciate about yourself and your life. Gratitude shifts your focus from what you lack to all the good things that you already have.


11. Set personal goals

Setting and achieving personal goals can significantly boost your self-esteem. Make sure these goals are realistic, achievable, and aligned with your values. Regularly achieving small, manageable goals can really boost your confidence and improve your self-perception.


12. Seek support when needed

Sometimes, transforming your self-perception might require some external support. Don’t hesitate to seek help from your friends, family, or professionals. Therapy or counselling can be very beneficial in addressing deep-seated negative self-perceptions.


These steps aren’t easy at first, and you might feel awkward or uncomfortable with some of them, but over time they’ll get easier and more familiar. As you begin to acknowledge and see yourself in a more loving and realistic light, you will begin to see your confidence and sense of well-being rise.


Embracing Beingness and Self-love


Beingness is about being present, embracing your true self and allowing you to be YOU. It’s about:



  • Letting Go of the Past: Your past is experience, don’t allow it to define you now. Learn from it but don’t let it hold you back.
  • Living Consciously in the Present: Being aware of what is going on within you and around you.
  • Not Overthinking the Future: While it’s good to plan, obsessing over the future can take you away from the present moment.
  • Authenticity: Always be true to yourself in your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions.



As we cultivate self-love, we unravel all those layers of fear, inhibition, ‘smallness’, and unworthiness that we have built up over time. Those thick layers that have stifled and blocked our self-expression and kept our self-perception negative. Practicing beingness and self-love allows us to be who we truly are; consciously doing what we have always done unconsciously. It’s giving ourselves the time to discover and explore who we truly are; it’s identifying ourselves and not allowing others to do so anymore. It’s taking responsibility for our health and life in general; it’s allowing the love that we truly are to expand in our hearts, circulate our bodies and our minds, and overflow out into our lives.



Final Thoughts


Transforming how we perceive ourselves is not an overnight process and it’s not a destination to get to. It’s a continuous journey of beingness, self-love, self-acceptance, and self-discovery. Remember, the goal is not to become perfect but to become genuinely comfortable and happy with who you are – love, flaws, and all! As you embark on this journey, be patient, be gentle and be kind to yourself. Each small step you take is a leap towards a more loving and authentic relationship with yourself.

Start embracing who you truly are, bring light to the darkness within you and finally allow your true light to shine.




“The way we perceive ourselves, the way we sense ourselves,

the way we see ourselves, determines how we interpret, understand,

and interact with the world around us.”




BIG Love


Visit my brand-new Fragranceofbeing – Etsy store  and check out the digital sets of Affirmation cards and an e-book “A simple guide to empowering yourself with affirmations”. This card is from the set “30 Affirmation Cards for Self-Acceptance”.

Download my e-book ‘Three ways to love yourself when you are feeling broken’ and receive my weekly LOVE-Letters in your inbox – written from my heart to yours, guiding and supporting you on a journey of self-love and celebrating your YOUniqueness.

Come and join me in my FREE Facebook Self-Love Community – Love Yourself; Transform your life

Come and follow me on my Fragrance of Being page on Facebook

As a teacher of Self-love, Beingness, and the power of I AM, Fiona Elizabeth blends her expertise as a metaphysical practitioner with her heart and soul experience and Mother Nature’s wisdom. Holding a master’s degree and certifications in Metaphysical Science, Spiritual Counselling, Relaxation and Journal Therapy, she is committed to guiding people towards living authentically and uncovering who and what they truly are. Join her in embracing a life enriched by self-knowledge, self-transformation, and, most importantly, self-Love.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This
Verified by MonsterInsights