There was a time in my life when I believed healing meant reaching a place where I would never feel overwhelmed again. A place where I would never feel stressed. Never feel emotionally overloaded. Never feel triggered, frustrated, anxious or exhausted.
Back then I believed that healing meant becoming someone who had somehow mastered life so completely that overwhelm just no longer existed.
Yet, the more I’ve listened to my body, my nervous system, and my own lived experience, the more I’ve realised that healing isn’t just about learning how to avoid feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed. Healing is also about learning how to stay with yourself while you are feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed.
And that changes everything. Because overwhelm itself is not failure. It doesn’t mean you’re broken. It doesn’t mean you’re weak. It doesn’t mean you aren’t able to do, or have, or be what you came here for. And it certainly doesn’t mean you’ve gone backwards.
Sometimes, overwhelm is simply your nervous system telling you “This feels too much, right now. I can’t cope with it.”
And honestly? In the world we live in today, that makes complete sense.
So many of us have spent years living under constant pressure. Pressure to…
- keep going whatever
- keep achieving
- keep coping
- keep smiling
- keep moving
- keep holding everything together
And somewhere along the way, we learned to abandon ourselves in the process. We push ourselves and justify ourselves while feeling so exhausted. We ignore our feelings. We fight our bodies. We beat ourselves up for struggling. We tell ourselves we need to do more, have more, be more. Until eventually…everything just feels too much. Everything is too much.
Does this feel familiar too you?
“Overwhelm is not the result of too much work; it’s the result of not knowing where to start.
Begin, and the rest will follow.” — Unknown
But what if overwhelm isn’t the real problem?
What if the deeper suffering actually comes from the way we treat ourselves when we are feeling overwhelmed?
For years, when overwhelm showed up in my life – which was most of the time – I would immediately go into self-attack.
“What the hell is wrong with me?”
“Why can’t I cope with things?”
“I should be able to handle this.”
“I’m failing – again.”
“I’m doing it all wrong – again”
And honestly, all that inner pressure, all that inner criticism, all that inner judgement hurt me more than the overwhelm itself! But a while ago, something shifted for me. Big time.
I had made the decision – made a promise to myself – to finally deal with something that I had been avoiding and putting off for years because it all felt too confusing and too overwhelming to face. (You can read about it here – Forgetting the password to yourself)
And yes, I got stressed. Yes, I felt overwhelmed. Yes, my body felt it. And yes, there were moments I just wanted to give up. But this time I didn’t. I didn’t abandon myself.
When it all felt too much, I consciously breathed. I paused what I was doing. I went for a walk in the woods with my dog for a while and I let the trees calm my nervous system.
I stopped…
*obsessing over how long it was taking.
*fighting myself for finding it difficult.
*making my stress mean that I was failing.
And slowly, something profound began to happen. I noticed that…the overwhelm was still there but I was consciously still there too. I was present with myself. I was gentle with myself. I was aware of what was happening within me. I felt compassion rising up inside of me. And it all felt completely different.
“You don’t have to figure out how to resolve all your problems, right now.
Just figure out what you can do to feel better in this moment.” Karen Salmansohn
I think this is one of the most important things we can learn…
Not “How do I never feel overwhelmed again?”
But “How do I stay connected to myself when overwhelm arrives?”
Because healing isn’t about becoming someone who never struggles. Healing is learning…
- not to abandon yourself in the struggle
- not to shame yourself for being human
- not to disappear the moment life feels hard
Maybe healing sounds like…
“This is difficult right now…but I’m still here.”
“This feels overwhelming… but I can just take one step at a time.”
“I don’t have to do this perfectly.”
“I can be gentle and breathe consciously.”
And perhaps that’s where real self-trust actually begins. Not in perfection. Not in avoiding discomfort. But in knowing “I am here. I will stay with myself, even here. Even now. Whenever.”
🌿 A Gentle Reflection
The next time you are feeling overwhelmed, instead of immediately trying to “fix” your feelings…
Just pause for a moment and ask yourself “What would it look like to simply stay with myself right now?”
Maybe it’s…
- taking slow, deep, conscious breathes
- stepping outside and going into nature
- closing your eyes and placing a hand on your heart as you breathe gently
- resting yourself without any form of guilt
- asking for some support
- doing one small thing at a time instead of trying to do everything all at once
Those simple, tiny moments of self-connection matter more than we realise. Because every time you stay with yourself in a difficult moment…you are teaching your nervous system something new – “I don’t have to abandon myself to get through this. I can stay. I can breathe. I can support myself through this.”
And that…is where gentle, compassionate healing begins.
“Your body matters. Your emotions matter. Your overwhelm makes sense.
Just gently REconnect back to you.” Fiona Elizabeth
With BIG Love
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