Many of us wake up each morning already believing there is something fundamentally wrong with us that needs fixing. So we search for another book…another course…another explanation…another answer. But what if…
What if the deepest healing doesn’t begin by fixing yourself. What if it begins by remembering yourself.
For many years, I thoroughly believed there was something innately wrong with me. Maybe you’ve believed something similar. I genuinely thought that if I could just read that one other book, take one other course, discover one more technique, or understand one more piece of myself, then I would finally become the person I was meant to be.
So, I kept looking. I searched through self-help books, spiritual teachings, metaphysics, psychology, journalling, meditation, astrology, tarot and countless other paths. Every one of these paths gave me something extremely valuable, and now looking back, I don’t regret a single step of my journey. But somewhere down the road, I realised that I had entirely accepted the belief that I was just a problem that needed to be solved.
I didn’t realise back then, how exhausting it was for me and how much it had held me back for so long.
“The quieter you become, the more you can hear.” Ram Dass
REmembering yourself
Over the last year or so, something gently shifted within me. Instead of asking “How can I fix myself?” I began asking, “How can I stay with myself?”
At first, it seemed like such a small change, but overtime, it changed everything for me.
Now when I feel overwhelmed, I stop trying to force myself to do things. I just sit with myself and consciously breathe awhile. Because overwhelm is simply our nervous system telling us “This feels too much, right now. I can’t cope with it.”
When I feel anxious…again, I just sit with myself and take a few conscious breathes. I allow myself to become more curious rather than critical of myself.
When old feelings reemerge, I no longer see them as proof that I’m failing or confirmation that I’m not good enough. Now they have become invitations to stop, to pause, to breathe, and to listen to myself.
Little by little, I began to notice something astonishing. The more gently I met myself…the more I began to feel like myself.
A few weeks ago, I tried a little experiment. Before I went to sleep, I quietly told myself that when I would wake up, I would simply keep my eyes closed and remain present with myself for a few moments before allowing the world to enter and the day to take over. Before…
- my thoughts.
- my mug of tea.
- my phone.
- my to-do list.
- anyone else’s expectations.
The next morning, as I gently began to wake up, I was aware that I was still in that soft, gentle space between sleep and awakeness. Not many words just feelings. In fact, I kept forgetting the words in my head, because the feelings were so much stronger. What I experienced was…
Softness. Expansion. No borders. No doors.
Just space. Just wholeness. Just me. Just I AM.
The experience only lasted a few minutes, but it gently reminded me of something that I had forgotten.
Beneath all…
- the striving…
- the searching…
- the stories about who I should be or who I should become…
Beneath all of this…there was simply me. Whole. Present. Enough.
“Healing is not about becoming something new but REmembering that you were whole all along.” Fiona Elizabeth
REturning to presence
Perhaps this is what REmembering yourself really means. Not adding more layers. Not becoming someone new. Not endlessly trying to improve yourself. But gently REturning to presence, to the being who has always been there beneath all the layers, beneath all the noise.
I don’t believe personal growth is about fixing ourselves anymore. I believe it is about creating enough space within us to listen and hear ourselves again.
Sometimes, it happens when we are…
- walking in nature.
- journalling our beliefs, our feelings, our thoughts.
- sitting in quiet meditation.
- drinking a mug of our favourite tea or coffee.
And sometimes, it happens in those precious moments before the world begins speaking to us.
Click on the image above and learn more about The REmembrance Circle. Come and join us.
I’m not saying we need to stop learning. Far from it. Learning has enriched my life in countless ways. But now I no longer learn or search for answers because I believe I’m broken and I need fixing. Now I learn and search for answers because I love discovering more about myself, about life, about people, and about the extraordinary journey of being human. There is a profound difference. One comes from fear. The other comes from love.
So today, I’d like to ask you some gentle questions…
What if there is nothing fundamentally wrong with you?
What if the kindness you’ve been searching for is the kindness you can begin offering yourself today?
What if your next step isn’t to work harder…but to listen to yourself more deeply?
What if you don’t need fixing?
What if you simply need REmembering?
What if the person you’ve been searching for outside of you… has silently been waiting inside of you all along.
You know, we’ve spent so much time trying to become someone better, someone different, that we’ve forgotten to become someone softer and kinder. And softness and kindness is where true REmembering begins.
A Gentle Reflection
🌸Take a slow, deep breath.
🌸Place your hands on your heart.
🌸Then ask yourself…If I stopped trying to fix myself for just one moment……what would I notice instead?
“At the centre of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.” Lao Tzu
You might also be interested in reading my blog post Remembering Who You Are, Beneath All That You Are Not
With BIG Love🌸
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