Is there really only one way? What if…?
I so wanted to change my life and have the courage and the ability to follow my dreams but I was stuck! Yes, I was stuck in the negative mire in my head and rendered powerless by that relentless voice that kept telling me it wasn’t possible, I wasn’t good enough, I didn’t know enough, I was useless and who on earth did I think I was to even dare to dream about it. I was held prisoner by that voice in my head that, day after day, hit me with the ‘having tos’ – “you have to do this way – you have to have that – you have to be that. Then it would move on to the ‘shouldings’ – you should do this, you should go there, you should be like them. Then it would move on to the ‘mustings’ – you must do this, you must speak like that, you must be able to do that! And in between it would underline the impossibilities and why it just couldn’t be done.
I was literally exhausted and dis-empowered and I felt anxious and overwhelmed most of the time. I always felt a complete failure and never felt good enough for anyone or anything. I would work so hard and yet never seemed to get anywhere and I would eventually give up and move on to the next thing.
The hamster wheel
My life began to change the moment I stopped, went to my magical park and sat in silence day after day. Things began to change when I became aware of the hamster wheel of repetitive, ineffective and destructive thoughts running rampant in my head; when I became aware of my destructive self-image and all that negative self-scrutiny and self-bullying and self-shaming. Things changed when I started shouting ‘STOP!’ every time I heard that voice in my head and began to consciously breathe instead of listening to it. When I stopped, took my attention away from my problems and my limitations and focused on the inner aliveness of my body; that inner aliveness that resides between the form and the formless, I was able to experience the meaning of BEing and experience all the BEingness that was around me and, as my self-awareness began to expand, I was able to bring some light to the darkness of my unconsciousness and my healing began.
With more space for the seeds of self-love and self-care to grow, I started to be curious and open and, instead of believing there was only one way to be and do and have, I began to ask myself “what if…?” and with these powerful words, the doors of possibilities and opportunities and new solutions suddenly sprang open.
What if making progress and striving to achieve our goals, does not always mean continuously moving forward and trying so hard to become someone else or what others say we should be?
What if making progress in our lives, actually means the contrary?
What if making pro-gress and moving forward in our lives means we have to retro-gress first and just let go of everything we thought we had to be; letting go of all the shoulds, the have to’s and the musts; letting go of all the conditionings we have received from our family, environment, education, government, religion, nationality?
What if making progress doesn’t actually mean BE-COMING anything, but instead means UN-BE-COMING everything we are not?
What if making progress means remaining open to infinite possibilities and expanding into who and what we came here to be?
What if making progress means just allowing ourselves to BE all that we truly are and allowing all our gifts and talents and YOUniqueness to flow through us and out into the world?
What if making progress means connecting to your true self and learning to just BE the wonderful BE-ing that you already are?
Just ask yourself lovely being, what if…?
You might also like to read this blog post https://fragranceofbeing.com/the-power-of-positive-self-talk-affirmations-and-reframing/
BIG Love and fragrant blessings