Life is such an entangled dance of experiences, emotions, connections, and lessons. As we journey through its ups and downs, we often hold on very tightly to bad memories and bad experiences, allowing them to shape our world and act as barriers to our personal growth. One of the most profound and transformative lessons in life is learning to let go. Letting go enables us to create sacred space for love – both for ourselves and for others.
Why We Hold On
Before understanding how we can let go, let’s take a look at the reasons why we hold on so tightly. Our past, whether filled with joy or pain, is part of our identity. These memories, relationships, and traumas can provide comfort, a sense of identity, or even a well-known pain that feels safer and more comforting to us than the uncertainty of letting go might bring to us.
Yet, holding onto past emotions, especially those rooted in deep pain or fear, can cloud our present and obstruct the potential of our future. They become like heavy weights that can affect our everyday life, our relationships and how we perceive our failures and successes. They can stifle our growth, our happiness, and indeed, the very love that we seek within us and in others.
The Liberating Act of Letting Go
Letting go is not about ignoring our feelings, nor suppressing our memories or invalidating our experiences. It’s about confronting them head-on, understanding them, and then releasing them to make way for more profound experiences of love, compassion, and understanding. It’s about releasing the emotional charges and attachments that no longer serve us. It’s about understanding that our past does not define us. It does not define our worth or our capacity to love and be loved.
When we let go, we are able to:
*Reclaim our power. By releasing the grip of our past hurts or regrets, we are able to reclaim our power over our emotions and reactions, allowing us to navigate through life with intention, more clarity and love.
*Open up to the present. Living in the moment; in the ‘present’ – is a gift. By letting go, we anchor ourselves in the now, creating new, authentic connections and experiencing life’s beauty unfiltered by the shadows of the past.
*Make room for new love. Just like a room full of old clutter, our hearts can be cluttered and overwhelmed with past emotions too, leaving no room for new, enriching experiences. Letting go creates the space that is necessary for new love, new energies, and new connections so that we can flourish. When we are finally able to let go, we create new and empowering space that can be filled with love; a love that is not obstructed or shaded by unresolved past traumas or feelings.
Steps to Letting Go
1. Recognize and acknowledge your feelings. The first step to letting go is recognizing that you are living in the past and you cannot change what happened in any way. Don’t avoid your pain, otherwise you just allow it to gradually build up inside of you. It is essential to be honest with yourself and acknowledge and validate all your feelings. Allowing yourself to feel your emotions, to accept them, and to grieve, helps you to finally let go and move forward.
2. Forgive Forgiveness, whether towards yourself or others, is a powerful tool on the journey of letting go. Forgiveness does not condone or forget, but it releases all those chains of resentment and anger. Forgiving someone simply means that you will no longer let what they did to you, weigh you down. Being kind and compassionate towards yourself and speaking with love is an essential key to rewiring your thoughts.
3. Seek support. The journey of letting go can be challenging so reach out to your support system. Having an outlet will help you to release all those things that are weighing you down. Confide in your trusted friends or family and allow them to support and uplift you while you work through your pain. If necessary, look for professionals that can offer a safe space for you to work through your thoughts and emotions and put the past into perspective so you can move on with a new and more positive outlook on life.
4. Engage in self-reflection. Meditation, journaling, or mindful walks in nature are wonderful ways to introspect and work through the emotions that need releasing. Writing about your feelings and thoughts in a journal helps you to make sense of the situation and your feelings more.
5. Practice Mindfulness. Mindfulness helps you to reduce your stress and anxiety and appreciate the here and now. When your mind and body are totally focused on the present moment, it is just not possible to ruminate on the past and worry about the future. Slow down and spend time each day being aware of your surroundings, noticing the small things and appreciating the special moments, such as the warmth of the sun on your face, the beauty of a sunset, the birds singing, or the smell of a freshly baked cake. Be grateful and savour the moment.
6. Celebrate the process. Remember that letting go is a journey, not a destination. Celebrate each and every step you take, every release, and every moment of clarity you experience.
Overcoming resistance to letting go often requires time, conscious effort, and loving support. Just because it is difficult right now doesn’t mean it will always feel and stay the same. Letting go is a truly personal journey, and while we all hold onto pain and trauma to some extent, the time, and ways in which we process and release it can be different. Be patient with yourself; be gentle with yourself and have faith in yourself and the future.
Final Thoughts – Embrace the Future with an Open Heart
As we cultivate the habit of letting go, we begin to discover the vast expanses of love, potential, and growth that is available to us. Love, in all its infinite forms, thrives and blossoms in open spaces.
Letting go becomes a way of life. A way of life where love, in its purest and unconditional form, becomes not just something to aspire to but something to experience each day.
We didn’t consciously choose what happened to us, but we can consciously choose how to deal with the pain that we feel. In every moment we have choices. Holding on to our pain is a choice, working through our pain is a choice and letting go of our pain is a choice. We can choose to hold on tightly to the past or we can choose to work through it, open our heart, let the past go, creating wonderful new space within us for love. Choose wisely, love awaits you.
You may also like to read this post… https://fragranceofbeing.com/how-to-overcome-self-sabotage-with-self-love/
Letting go becomes a way of life where love, in its purest and unconditional form,
is not just something to aspire to but something to experience each day.
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Fiona Elizabeth is a Teacher of Beingness and Self-love leader. She has a Master in Metaphysical Science and is a certified Metaphysical Practitioner, Ordained Minister, Spiritual Counsellor, Shadow Worker, and Journal Therapist.
“My mission is to hold a safe, nurturing space for you to grow and live a life that is grounded in self-love, self-knowledge, self-transformation, and spiritual alignment. Teaching and sharing self-love and spiritual practices that nourish your needs, mind, and heart, and support you in aligning with your highest self and purpose. “