Self-doubt is a silent inner battle, one where the line between reality and perception is blurred. Navigating the convoluted realms of self-perception and societal pressure, self-doubt is something that many of us struggle with. In a world where external validation too often overshadows internal peace, this can become a crippling hindrance.

This blog post aims to provide you with actionable steps to overcome these challenges and nurture a profound sense of self-love.



Understanding Self-Doubt



What is Self-Doubt?


Self-doubt is a lack of confidence in ourselves. It is that loud inner critic that constantly questions our abilities, our worth, and our decisions. It’s a natural response, but it becomes problematic when it’s persistent, as it can easily lead to low self-esteem, insecurity, hesitation, indecision, and inaction.


Root Causes of Self-Doubt


Where does our self-doubt come from?


Past Experiences


Negative past experiences can linger in the psyche and continuously seed self-doubt within us. It often stems from childhood trauma and painful memories, such as constant scolding, criticism humiliation, bullying, and anxiety and attachment disorders. People have often received so much negative feedback from the unsupportive adults and peers in their life that they have literally internalized inadequacy and fear of failure. As we grow up, this kind of feedback becomes a large part of our own inner monologue.

Self-doubt can also develop after traumatic events and toxic relationships.




Self-doubt often leads us to comparing ourselves to others. Regular exposure to idealized lifestyles on social media and in society sets unrealistic standards, leading to unfair comparisons, feelings of inadequacy and never being enough.

Social media is full of so-called ‘perfect’ images that leave so many people feeling badly about themselves. We need to remember that social media is like an unreal spotlight of people’s lives. It isn’t representative of everything in their lives; it isn’t representative of who they really are. Limiting social media, especially when we are really struggling with self-doubt, helps us to keep a clear head and our feet on the ground.


Fear of Failure


The dread of not meeting our own expectations or the expectations of others can be truly paralyzing. It can be so overwhelming that it stifles any form of initiative or progress.

Fear of failure can be linked to traumatic events or having unsupportive or critical parents and being routinely undermined or humiliated in childhood; these negative feelings are then carried into adulthood.




Overcoming Self-Doubt


So how can we overcome our self-doubt? Here are some ideas….


Awareness and Acceptance


  • Recognize Self-Doubt: Self-awareness is always key, and it is the first step towards change. Pay attention and recognize the situations that trigger self-doubt within you. Identify when and why these feelings occur. Is it during public speaking, at work, or in social settings? What are you telling yourself? Journalling is a great tool for self-awareness.


  • Accept Emotions: These feelings are very common, you’re not alone. Allow yourself to feel these doubts without any form of judgement. Recognizing your emotions and feelings can reduce their power over you. Know that it’s okay to feel doubtful, it’s a part of being human.



Reframe Your Thoughts


  • Positive Affirmations: Replace your negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Affirmations are short, positive statements that we frequently repeat to ourselves throughout the day. By repeating these statements regularly, we can block out that incessant negative voice in our heads and reprogram our subconscious mind to believe in our inherent worth and potential, build our self-confidence and reduce our self-doubt.


Affirmations like these can be very powerful:

“I am capable and strong.”

“I replace my negative self-talk with loving and positive affirmations.”

“I let go of comparing myself to others and focus on my own unique journey.”

“I choose to focus on my strengths and accomplishments, and I celebrate them with gratitude and pride.”


  • Mindfulness and Meditation : Practice being present and mindful to reduce your overthinking. Mindfulness is about living in the present moment; in the NOW, with intention and awareness, fully engaged in what is happening around us without judgment. Mindfulness builds and enhances our self-awareness by helping us to recognize our negative thought patterns, and gently steer them away to more positive and loving thoughts.


  • Practicing Gratitude : Take time every day to practice gratitude. This is about focusing on and appreciating what we already have, instead of focusing on what we don’t have and constantly reaching out for something new in the hope it will make us happier. If we constantly focus on what we believe to be wrong in our lives; if we constantly spend our time being miserable, comparing ourselves and complaining, then this is the life we will experience. We are all imperfect and we all make mistakes. Practicing gratitude can empower us to feel motivated to do better, to learn from our mistakes and grow.


  • Journalling: Journalling is a great way to identify positive and negative patterns. Write down everything that brings up those feelings and thoughts of self-doubt and failure, but also all those feelings and thoughts of self-confidence and success. Know yourself.



Set Realistic Goals


  • Small Achievable Targets: Break down big tasks into smaller and more manageable ones. This makes them seem less daunting and more achievable and it helps you to build momentum and confidence.


  • Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge every single achievement and success of your day to build up your self-confidence. Every achievement, no matter how small, is a big step towards overcoming self-doubt. Always celebrate these moments as this helps you to reinforce positive behaviour.


  • Take a Personal Inventory: Take a personal inventory of all your accomplishments, your wins, your successes, no matter how small. This means reflecting inwardly and understanding what makes you, you. This is a great way to minimize your feelings of self-doubt. It can give you the motivation and empowerment that you need to move forward.



Seek Constructive Feedback


  • Feedback Over Criticism: Learn to distinguish between constructive feedback and simple criticism. Look for mentors or peers who can provide you with helpful insights and encourage and support you.


  • Support System: Surround yourself with people who know and understand you. Building a network of friends, family, or colleagues who believe in you and uplift and support you when you are battling self-doubt. They can give you the support and validation you need and fill you with hope and positivity.



Learn from Failures


  • Growth Mindset: Shift your perspective to view mistakes and failures as opportunities and lessons rather than setbacks. Every mistake is an opportunity to learn something new.


  • Resilience: Strengthen your resilience by facing challenges head-on and understanding that setbacks are not reflections of your worth.




Cultivating Self-Love



What is Self-Love?


Self-love is about recognizing and treating yourself with the same respect and kindness that you would give to a loved one. It’s about fully accepting yourself in your entirety and embracing your worth and well-being, but also all your flaws and imperfections. When you practice self-love, you become more empowered, resilient, and confident enough to pursue your goals and dreams with determination. You break free from the shackles of self-doubt and negative self-talk and finally embrace your true worth and value as a unique individual.


Practice Self-Compassion


  • Kind Self-Talk: The words you say to yourself do matter! Monitor your self-talk. Stop being hard on yourself and replace harsh criticism with words of encouragement and understanding. Speak to yourself like you would to a loved one and regularly take time to remind yourself that you are worthy. Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations that focus on your strengths and accomplishments.


  • Self-validation: Know yourself (all your beliefs, values, strengths, challenges etc) and build a more loving relationship with yourself. Self-doubt thrives on a lack of validation.


  • Forgive Yourself: Let go of all your past mistakes and understand that they do not define who you are. Know that making mistakes is part of being human; it doesn’t diminish your worth.



Self-Care Rituals


  • Physical Self-Care: Regular exercise, a balanced, healthy diet, and adequate rest contribute significantly to your overall well-being.


  • Mental Self-Care: Engage in activities and hobbies that soothe, rejuvenate your mind, and bring you joy, whether it’s reading, painting, dancing or simply spending time in nature.


  • Ground Yourself: When you are doubting yourself, it’s so easy to get stuck up in your head, trapped in a vicious downward cycle of all the things you are struggling with, all the things you feel you cannot do. Grounding yourself means being in the present moment without getting lost in your negative, spiralling thoughts. It’s important to find simple ways to ground yourself in these moments. Focusing on your breathing is the easiest and quickest way of grounding and centring yourself in the present moment.





Set Boundaries


  • Learn to Say No: It’s important to prioritize your needs and say no when necessary. Understand your limits and respect them. Saying no to overwhelming demands is a vital aspect of self-care.


  • Healthy Relationships: Cultivate relationships that are supportive, respect your boundaries, contribute to your growth and are supportive and reciprocal. Distance yourself from those people that drain you or knock you down.



Celebrate Your Uniqueness


  • Embrace Individuality: Acknowledge and appreciate what makes you different; what makes you unique. Your unique traits are what make you special.


  • Avoid Comparisons: Self-doubt often causes us to compare ourselves to others. Understand that everyone’s journey is different. Everyone is on their own path, with different challenges and strengths.



Continuous Learning and Growth


  • Embrace New Experiences: Continuously step out of your comfort zone and try new things. This broadens your horizons and builds confidence.


  • Self-Reflection: Regularly reflect on your journey and your progress. Regular self-reflection helps you to understand your growth and areas for improvement.




Final thoughts


Overcoming self-doubt and cultivating self-love is a journey, not a destination. It requires presence, consistent effort, patience, perseverance and, above all, kindness, and compassion towards yourself. Remember, you are worthy, capable, and deserving of love and respect, especially from yourself. By embracing this journey with self-love, understanding and courage, you open the door to a more fulfilling and confident life. Know that you are not alone and watch yourself as you flourish into the best version of you.



Overcoming self-doubt and cultivating self-love

is a journey, not a destination.




You may also like to read…

Limited Self-Compassion; Being Your Harshest Critic

The Power of Positive Self Talk, Affirmations and Reframing

How to Focus on the Good: 21 Ideas to Help You Develop a Positive Mindset

Let go of old ideas; How to Find Your Strengths




BIG Love

As a teacher of Self-love, Beingness, and the power of I AM, Fiona Elizabeth blends her expertise as a metaphysical practitioner with her heart and soul experience and Mother Nature’s wisdom. Holding a master’s degree and certifications in Metaphysical Science, Spiritual Counselling, Relaxation and Journal Therapy, she is committed to guiding people towards living authentically and uncovering who and what they truly are. Join her in embracing a life enriched by self-knowledge, self-transformation, and, most importantly, self-Love.


Visit my brand-new Fragranceofbeing – Etsy store  and check out the digital sets of Affirmation cards and an e-book “A simple guide to empowering yourself with affirmations”. This card is from the set “Mindful Moments – 30 Affirmation Cards to Ease Anxiety”.

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